Icons again...Twilight Actors

Kellan Lutz

Peter Facinelli

Taylor Lautner

As usual, more at IconsbyUs. Please leave me some feedback!

On the Surface, Underneath & Knowingly Blind

Yes, I just posted and I'm posting again, but I wanted this to be separate even though it's indirectly related. As I said before, Speak really effected me and kept me up last night. As I lay in bed thinking about the movie words started to fly around inside my head and I just had to get them out. So, as quietly as I could I sneaked out of bed, trying not to wake my husband - I failed at that, btw - and into the living room to grab a piece of paper. Then I lay there writing the words down before they left me. I even went into the bathroom at one stage to finish writing it bc I had disturbed my husband's sleep. Then, after thinking I was done, more words started flowing out and by then I thought for sure my husband was in a deep sleep so I jotted down the words while laying in bed. I had only grabbed a small piece of paper and therefore ran out of room so then I lay there in the dark writing on my hand. Anyway, these two small pieces are what happened. There was no thinking and rethinking as I have done in the past while writing, it's just the words as they popped in my head.

____________________________________________________________

On the Surface, Underneath

Childhood is bright and free,

blue skies and lullablies.

It's friends and imagination.

Playing and dreaming.

Living and loving.

On the surface.

~*~

 Childhood is dull and trapped,

hushed sound and never found.

It's enemies and consternation.

Trying and failing.

Living and hating.

Underneath.

____________________________________________

Knowingly Blind

 To know the truth and turn your cheek,

to leave your child alone and weak.

To hear a plea and still play your game, 

to think that he was nice and tame.

To never speak of it again, 

to never let the talk begin.

To simply smile and walk across,

to think I did not mourn the loss.

With all the things you did and said,

never once did you try to get inside my head.

You chose to simply be instead...

Knowingly Blind.

____________________________________________________________________

So, that was the flow...what do you think? Utterly depressing, huh?

Three Films In

Ok, so I told you before that I think Kristen Stewart, aka Awk, is a great actress. I'll admit that even though I called out a friend for her lack of knowledge based on the fact that she'd not seen many of Awk's movies, that I, myself, had not seen that many. Sure, I'd read things and seen movie clips, but before two days ago I had only seen four of her movies, two of which were Twilight and New Moon. I decided I needed more to back up my story that she is a good actress.

I went to her filmography page on IMDB to chose a movie. I chose In the Land of Women(2007) first bc, even though I've not 'followed' his work, I've always thought Adam Brody was sort of cute. While I thought it was a good movie, and Kristen certainly didn't do any bad acting in the movie, I wasn't blown away. There wasn't anything moving about the character and no real connection to the audience. This I blame on the fact that she wasn't really the female lead which I'd assumed from the poster.

Actually, there wasn't really a female lead at all, IMO. So, looking at this as an Adam Brody movie rather than a Kristen Stewart one, it was very entertaining. I thought there were an abundance of comedic parts. Carter Webb's(AB) grandmother was absolutely hilarious. And as I told Irish, AB is now solidified as the most adorable grown man ever. I'm not sure that'd be considered a compliment by him, but oh well. Ha.

In the end, I would recommend this movie to anyone who likes AB, or sad movies with a good many comedic lines thrown in. Just a warning, the movie could be considered to have ended abruptly and possibly unresolved, but in my opinion the issue in which the movie was about was resolved and that was good enough for me.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The next movie I watched was The Cake Eaters(2007). This was a movie I'd never even heard of until I was searching through Awk's filmography. After watching the trailer and seeing that she played the role of a young girl with some sort of disease that affected her movements, I thought that would be a good indicator of what she was capable of as an actress.

As I watched the movie I discovered that she plays Georgia, a girl with Friedreich's ataxia. It's a genetic disease that causes damage to the nervous system which causes shaky and clumsy movements, speech problems, and eventual heart disease.

To me there are two types of movies. There are the edge-of-your-seat kind and then there are those with an actual story to tell. Now, I'm not saying that all action packed movies can't be good, however, sometimes it's just better to settle into a good story. That was the case for this movie. Although, Kristen wasn't the star of this movie, it was an ensemble cast and multiple stories to follow, she still did an outstanding job. Of course this is still just my opinion, I feel it very strongly. That brings me to the third movie I watched. Speak.

 ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Speak(2004) is about a girl starting high school with no friends bc of an incident that happened at the end of school the previous year. With the whole school against her, her clueless parents, ex-best friends and teachers, she goes day to day just getting through it.

This movie was so horrible... in the best way. I got so emotional while watching it, and then at the end I was still crying when it went off. Then as I lay in bed, trying to go to sleep, I cried some more. I don't think the movie was supposed to be that moving, but oh well. I guess it just effected me so much to see what she was going through and to see the complete and utter blindness around her. It's really sad, but I can just imagine that there are other girls, real girls, that are going through a similar situation.

In closing, I would definitely recommend this movie - if you're into getting a wake up call and possibly depressed. (And for those Gossip Girl fans, the man that plays Bart Bass is in it. He's a real asshole.)

More...Icons never get old.

Ashley Greene and Elizabeth Reaser

More at Icons by Us.

Dinner with the Grand-Laws, or the Day in Which I Totally Spaced

Yes. The plans I mentioned a few days ago about the Monday after Christmas, well, I completely forgot about them yesterday.

My husband had gone on an overnight trip to Tennessee for a football bowl game. (GO CLEMSON!) At four o'clock yesterday afternoon, he walked through the door announcing that we were to be at his (step) grandparents house at five o'clock. I was still in my pjs! Yes, I was still in my pjs at four in the afternoon, I was feeling sick most of the day, so that's my excuse. Although, I can't say I'd've been properly dressed had it been a regular day. Whatever.

So, I rushed to get ready while my husband was so kind as to run both boys through the bath and get them dressed with minimal help from me at all.

Finally, we were on our way, we arrived about 25 minutes later. Both boys had fallen asleep on the way so I was forced to carry my three year old son bc he was being uber clingy and wouldn't walk. We stroll in saying 'hello' and giving hugs. The first person to meet me and my son was my husband's step-dad's bro-in-law. He's really tall. (That's irrelevant, but he's seriously, like, 6'5" and clearly the tallest person I know, so it's worth mentioning.) The point is that as he was greeting us I noticed, but was helpless to do anything bc of holding my son who is extremely heavy, that I was basically flashing all my forced cleavage to this man. I say forced bc I'm not well endowed when it comes to that area, but the way my son was laying on me caused cleavage to magically appear, to my extreme embarrassment. Needless to say I kept a check on my shirt for the remainder of the night.

Now that you've all gotten a laugh out of my embarrassment, I'll move on...

I really liked my presents: a Viva Beads bracelet and what was referred to as a Toto basket. I'm not sure what I'll actually ever use it for but I love it bc it looks different and I'll probably be sporting it like a pocketbook before long. If only it had a top like a real Toto basket.

So, after we did presents we all went to a nearby restaurant. They have a small arcade there and after we ate the kids went with their Daddy and Papa to go play. They had one of those claw machine things that you use the little joystick to try and grab a prize, and my five year old son got a stuffed snowman. I was proud of him bc he was able to get it by himself.

They also had some of those little machines you stick the money in and then turn the little knob and out pops a prize. No skill involved whatsoever. However, that's the 'game' my three year old 'played and won'. He got a little bouncy ball - I loathe those things - and he was so proud of himself bc he 'won' the ball. It was so cute!...I almost forgot! I also got a gold ring from my seven year old niece. And by 'gold' I mean plastic that's gold-colored. She got it out of one of those machines like the ball came out of. She got one for me, her mom, and herself. She can be very generous when she wants to be.

So, all in all it was a good night. We don't see that part of the family but once a year usually bc part of them live a couple hours away and we've just never really been that close. However, it was good to see them and to see how the kids have grown. My dad-in-laws niece and nephew are both teenagers. I still remember them from ten years ago when I first met them and I was the teenager. Anyway, I'm just reminiscing here. Boring.

Well, that was the extent of my excitement yesterday. Oh well, all in the life of an adrenaline junky. Ha!

Icons of the Katie Cassidy and Robert Pattinson Variety

more at Icons by Us.

Movies of 2010

I love movies. I've actually not seen very many lately bc of all the tv I watch and then I got sucked into the black hole that is Twilight fanfiction. Thankfully, I'm out of that for now. ;)

Anyway, I find myself on IMDB quite frequently looking to see what my fav actors and actresses are working on. Sadly, it's one of my fav things to do... It's a great procrastination tool. Now, however, I have this blog that I like to add pointless things too so I've decided to have the two coexist. I've compiled a list of some of the movies I want to see this year. I say 'some' bc I know there are some indie movies not notable enough to make it onto the "Coming Soon" list I scoured in order to make this list. (trailers are linked in movie titles, excluding the last two bc they don't have any yet.)

Icons...

I posted more icons over on Icons by Us. Nikki Reed and Jackson Rathbone.

When I Grow Up & Icons...

I'm currently on a Kristen Stewart kick. I, unlike someone *cough*irish*cough* think that she's a great actress that is highly underrated. Ok, so maybe not highly, but still underrated none the less.

I saw her a couple years ago and I remember telling my husband that I thought she was a good actress. I also remember mentioning that I liked her bc she seemed 'normal' and not like a Hollywood glamorized actress. (I won't mention that I'd never really seen her outside of a movie, therefore the way she looked had nothing to do with who she really is.) My instinct was right, though. She isn't glamorized. In fact, she's pretty de-glamorized. Sure, she can dress up and somewhat play the part of Hollywood starlet, but you can still see the awkward looking girl she comes across as most of the time.  Actually, when talking about her to my bestie we refer to her as Awk, short for awkward.

So... I've decided that when I grow up, I want to be Kristen Stewart. (Kindly look over the fact that I'm more grown up than she is, being that I'm 25 and she's 19.) Why do I want to be Awk? No, not bc she's a talented actress, not bc she's rich, not even bc she gets to hang out with (and on) the likes of Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner.

I want to be able to have the kind of "I don't give a crap what you think." sort of attitude. Her fashion is usually somewhat lacking by general standards and she couldn't care less. Don't get me wrong, my fashion is fully lacking, but I can't get to the point not to care. Maybe I'm just weird, which I'm sure y'all guys will agree, but I want to look like a raggle muffin and not care. I think it's a fashion all it's own and I want to be a part of it. (Also, I know 'raggle muffin' is not the correct term. I know it's raggamuffin, as my husband so often tells me, but you'll learn I make things up and change things up all the time.)

Alright, now that I've totally dorked out like a tween, I'll get to my main point - or what I thought was my main point - my new icons. Here are a couple, click the link below for more!

MORE ICONS!!

Thoughts of Christmas: A Cynical View (and just plain old ranting)

First of all, I'd like to start by saying I love my family and the time I get to spend with them, esp my bro who is in the Marines and has been off in Japan for a year and half without a visit. Also, I love my children and the happiness I see when they get all that they asked for from Santa. Really, that should go without saying, but I thought I should be thorough.

--WARNING: Those with young believers that can read should read in private. --

Having said that I really hate Christmas. I'm not entirely sure what it is that I don't like. It could be that my shoes are too tight, or maybe my head isn't screwed on just right.

More likely it could be the last minute shopping and wrapping that ensues every year, or maybe added family visits that screw with my routine. It may even be the Christmas tree. Yes. The Christmas tree. I hate having to store decorations in my house, therefore we don't have anything but a tree and a big box of ornaments in the very back of the closet on the top shelf. You know, as far away as possible so that when you wait til Christmas Eve to put up your tree, you have to maneuver around all the presents you're hiding from your kids, while talking on the phone, (bc really, let's make it as hard as possible) and taking a breather from one end of the closet to the other to yell at your kids at the top of your lungs to make sure they hear you: "Do NOT come in here!! I mean it!" That's Christmas joy at it's finest, right?

Another reason I might not like Christmas is the fact that it's entirely too commercialized for me now. Maybe it's bc I've grown up and can no longer hear the jingle bells of Santa's sleigh or maybe I'm just truly a Grinch with a heart two sizes too small. It could even be the music that starts playing right after Thanksgiving straight up til Christmas day. Even more than that it could be that my subconscious hates me and somehow tricked me into engaging in two things I hate: Christmas music and whistling. That's right folks. I found myself whistling Jingle Bells while cleaning up a few days before Christmas.

I've come to the conclusion it's not all Christmas music that I hate. It's the 9843759287345 different recordings of the same songs over and over and over. All so that people can make more money when they aren't putting out original music. I think I'd much prefer to hear the songs as they were first recorded without all the melody changes and added riffs.

Then there are the songs that are just plain stupid. A prime example of that is Last Christmas. And to go further into how many time people record these silly songs I'll just name a few people that have done this song: Taylor Swift, Ashley Tisdale, and Jimmy Eat World...Now, click here to hear the TS version and to understand my rant fully. Ok, so, my thing is why would you give your heart to someone in the first place if they weren't special? Furthermore, if they weren't special, then why on God's green earth would you care enough to cry about it?

Another song that's incredibly stupid IMO is I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus. (That one too has been recorded a ridiculous amount of times. The original recording of it was by Jimmy Boyd in 1952. -listen-) Anyway, back to the matardedness of the song. Now, I would think this song could teach kids one of two things. First, they could be too smart for their own good and figure out who Mommy was really kissing, or they could think Mommy's just freely giving away kisses to strange men who shimmy down the chimney in the middle of the night.

That actually brings me to the next part of my rant. Santa Claus. My oldest son is in five year old kindergarten and they have 'book buddies' (3rd graders) that come and read to them occasionally. They each are assigned to the same child for the whole year. However, one day his buddy wasn't there so he went with another student for that day. Well, that kid decided to tell my son that SC wasn't real! He wasn't upset about it or anything, but he did come home and ask me "Mommy, is Santa Claus real?" I hate lying to my children. I feel that it's important not to shield them from the real world all that much. I don't tell them all the bad stuff that goes on in the world, but just enough to let them know it's there. So, what was I supposed to say? I didn't want to lie so I just didn't answer. I simply replied, "Well, what to you think?" Followed by his, "Yes." and my "Ok, then." He's asked me this about three times since then and I cringe every time. So, another thing I hate about Christmas is Santa Claus. You may ask why I didn't tell him the truth since he wasn't upset while asking, well, I'm scared that once he does find out he might be upset.

Moving on...

I am a believer of God, let me say that first before diving into my next topic... I wouldn't say I'm extremely intelligent, however, I can read. So, I did a little research bc it's bothers me endlessly when people get on their high horse screaming "Jesus is the reason for the Season." Aside from the fact that all people don't have the same beliefs and that should be respected, He's actually not the reason in which Winter festivals were made and later evolved into Christmas. Christmas has pre-christian origins, plain and simple. Read here. Or except my paraphrasing: Basically, there was a winter festival to celebrate "the birthday of the unconquered Sun," as in sun gods. "The festival was placed on the date of the solstice because this was on this day that the Sun reversed its southward retreat and proved itself to be "unconquered." Later, Christians equated the birth of the Sun to that of Jesus, thsus taking it over for themselves.

On a side note, I read that early Christians didn't even celebrate birthdays bc it was thought of as a pagan custom. That, my friends opens up a whole other topic for me that I will skip over for today. I'm sure you're glad.

But, to tie together my Santa rant and 'reason for the season' rant, I'd just like to say that if those who maintain that Jesus is, in fact, the reason for the season, then why do they participate in the ruse of Santa Claus and buy into all the commercialization of Christmas when the two have nothing to do with each other?

I think I could go on, but it's probably better that I stop here. Please, for anyone who disagrees with anything I said, feel free to let me know your opinion.

I think it's safe to say that I am a complete Grinch when it comes to Christmas. Maybe next year I'll take and hide my little curmudgeon self in a cave high up on a hill and plot with my dogs. To quote a wise fictional character: "I must find some way to keep Christmas from coming!"

Grinch icon courtesy of innermurk @ livejournal

Christmas Time

With my family, there is not only Christmas day, but Christmas eve, the week before Christmas and a few days after Christmas. Therefore, for me it is 'Christmas Time.'

To start off our 'Christmas Time' we had a family reunion to go to last weekend. You know, one of those things where you're entire family comes - the ones you only see this time of year - and yet you only sit and talk to your immediate family. Okay, so maybe everyone doesn't do that, but that was my experience. Overall, it wasn't fun.

First of all, my youngest son had been sick earlier in the day. To be quite frank about it, he yakked in his bedroom floor. So, needless to say, he was clingy most of the night. Because of that, I ended up at the end of the line - the very end of the line - and with the number of people who'd gone before me, there wasn't much food left. All the homemade mac-n-chez was gone or looked nasty so I opted for the safe looking Bojangles mac-n-chez. Boy was that a mistake! It had a hair in it! I was thoroughly disgusted and couldn't eat another bite of anything. Well, that's not entirely true. I did eat my cherry cheesecake while looking over my shoulder at my bro-in-law who had threatened to swipe it because I'd let it sit for so long. It was delicious!

Anyway, back to Christmas Time...The next thing we had planned was to visit with one of my husband's brothers. We were doing it early with them because with the other side of their family, they have a full day on Christmas. My youngest was still sick on Sunday and running a fever so he didn't get to go, meaning I didn't get to go. I felt really bad that we had to keep him at home. He had also missed out on going to church with his Granny and brother for the little Christmas play. He was so sad, "I promise I won't get sick." He broke my heart!

By the next day he was pretty much fine and there was no sign of anyone else getting sick from it so I, foolishly, thought that we were good. Well, 6:30am on Thursday morning, my oldest son woke up and he too had yakked in his floor. He felt terrible ALL day long. On Christmas Eve we always go to my Grandma's house for dinner and presents and I was worried that he wasn't going to get to go. We took him anyway.

He laid around the whole time except for when he opened his presents. He and his brother got some CIA guns that make lots of noise and they came with some spy gear - one of their fav things to do is play spies - and he played with that. The whole time he was playing, though, it seemed like he was just doing it bc he was 'supposed' to be playing.

All in all, when my heart wasn't breaking for him, I had a good time. At dinner, between my husband, brother, bro-in-law, sister, and myself, there were some inappropriate topics that I'm sure my mom just loved hearing. I loved watching my kids get excited over their presents. I also really enjoyed the c-note from my Gma. My sissy bought me a big ol' bracelet that I now have to buy an outfit for. YAY! (even though I despise shopping.) Also, my sister bought my husband this really nifty little keychain thingy. It looks like a key, but really it's a little knife! I must say, I was a little jealous. Then I scared my sister - who I shall call Myrtle, for now, or possibly forever, by telling her that the sharpness of the blade didn't matter when stabbing someone, it was how sharp the point is. I think she thinks I'm psycho. I assure you I'm not. ;P

So, today was Christmas day and while my youngest son was up and ready for presents at 7:30 this morning, my oldest had to be forced to get out of bed. BTW, my sons are 3 and 5. They really liked their presents from Mommy and Daddy as well as Santa. After that it was a race to straighten up the house before more company came over.

We now have a tradition that my husband's family comes to our house for breakfast on Christmas morning. That was eventful. Four loud kids, a tv blasting video game music, and a little bit of family drama - causing some to get ill - really set the mood. It was Christmas! However, in spite of that, it was a really good day. The kids loved all their stuff once again and I liked my presents as well. I got 4 sweaters that I really like (though I may have to take back a couple of them) and a digital picture frame. I was really excited about that! My husband's parents also gave us a gift card to Applebee's and Regal Cinemas. I told him he could have the food one and I'd go to the movies without him bc he really doesn't like to go anyway. Haha.

The family stayed for most of the day and when it was time to go my husband's niece was NOT ready to go. She was determined to stay here and did all the fit pitching she could to insure it. In the end she was dragged away kicking and screaming. We must plan a day for her and her bro to come over and play. The only issue is that she's scared of our dogs. That wasn't a problem today bc we put the poor guys in the Petsmart Hotel for a couple of days.

So far it's been a good 'Christmas Time', but it's still not over. Monday we have to go out and see some more family! It's such a hassle but I love them all the same.

This was probably totally boring bc i basically just recounted what's happened with no wit or funnies at all. Oh well. I can't be funny all the time...or ever. At least not on purpose. :)

Coming soon - Thoughts of Christmas: A Cynical View

Supernatural Drabbles

So, I had somewhat thought about putting some of this stuff on here, but I wasn't sure. BUT! It's been requested. haha. These are just 3 drabbles that I wrote about the tv show Supernatural. (Watch it Thursdays at 9pm on the CW!) FYI, a drabble is just 100 words long (or close to it.)

-------------------------------------------------

Title: A Child’s Revelation
Author: Ava Conner

Summary: A four year old Dean realizes his purpose.

Daddy put him in my arms and told me to run, run as fast as I can. I did.

I turned to look back once I got outside. I saw the fire. Mommy was still in there, but Daddy would save her. I knew he would.

Daddy came out. He scooped us up and ran. He didn’t have Mommy. I thought she must have been walking slow. She never came out.

I was a hero, like Daddy, only he wasn‘t one. He couldn't save Mommy. I knew then I would always be the one to save Sammy. My life's purpose.

---------------------------------------

Title: A Father’s Affirmation
Author: Ava Conner

Summary: After the fire, sitting on the hood of the Impala, John makes a promise to himself.

I failed. I lost Mary. Wife. Mother. Friend.

She was the light in the world. Without her there is only darkness. No. There’s Dean and there’s Sammy. They are my light. On this night, I failed them beyond repair. Because of me they will grow up without their mother.  My mission has changed.

They are my objective. I will always save them, no matter the sacrifice. Even if it meant leaving them behind. I would die for them if it meant they would live. I would climb out of Hell’s gate to save my Dean and my Sam… My life.

------------------------------------

Title: The Last Father’s Day Card
Author: Ava Conner

Summary: Sam makes a Father’s day card for John at school.

He took all day to make it. It had to be perfect for his Dad. He was a superhero after all. Dean told him.

He ran excitedly to Dean, proud of his work. Dean said it was the best card he’d ever seen. Sam’s smile had never been bigger.

Dean let Sam stay up later than usual, waiting for Dad so he could give him his card. Then John called, he wouldn’t be home that night.

Sam took out a crayon, marked out ‘Father’ on the card, wrote the deserving name above. Brother. Next year, he didn’t make a card.

---------------------------------

Thoughts....?

Introduction

Alright! This is my first official entry. I thought I'd take a minute to go into more detail as to why I, the boring person that is me, started a blog in the first place.

Really, I think it was boredom. However, I'd like to think that I have something to say that people will care about. Deep down I know that's not true. I am a self proclaimed rambler and I tend to annoy my husband with talk of tv shows that he doesn't like or celebrities he doesn't give two craps about. I have my bff, sister, and overseas amiga that i ramble to frequently and they all share at least a portion of my interests. Still, when talking or writing to these people I tend to go off on tangents for days and, I'm sure, bore them all to tears. I even find myself talking my mom into a coma with stuff she cares *nothing* about. The solution? Start a blog and ramble away.

I plan to use this blog as a way to just get it off my chest. And by 'it' I mean any and everything I think about. From my favorite tv shows, which you will hear lots about, to my ranting about having to let my dogs outside to do their business in the freezing cold. In short, this blog is like Seinfeld, it's completely and totally about nothing. 

In closing, I'd like to apologize to my friends and family who will read this out of love and obligation. You will probably be the only people to read this anyway so I want to say sorry for dragging you into yet another one of my 'projects' that will most likely be short-lived. Maybe in this case that's a good thing, though. =)